A letter from the Lord

To

Homo sapiens

Earth, Solar System

Date: Today

Place: Lord Krishna’s office, Heaven

Dear Humans,

I have been following all your arguments on Evolution and Creationism, rather heated debates at times. I am writing to you on behalf of all the gads (I prefer gads over gods) not to defend the idea of creationism, but to question the evolution of the creators itself. The old man, Charles Darwin, and many other people like him, have proposed the idea of evolution so as to explain the vast diversity of life forms. I kind of like the idea as they explain by reasoning and experimentation rather than just blind faith in something.

(Image credit: bestofdesijokes.blogspot.com)

Considering this scenario on the earth, I always wondered why the hell we, the Gads, look the same since the time we were created. The world is changing with time; even the tiny micro-organisms are evolving mechanisms which are good for them. I mean-what is wrong with you?

You never changed the way we look neither in photograph nor in Photoshop. So I am putting down a few wishes that we, as the Gads you created, long for.

We always wanted to get funky looks, wear branded clothes, and be called by a cool name like Krish. At least an electric guitar which could help me hack a few girls’ hearts. Let me tell you, it is not all that vibrant here in heaven as you have described. You have attributed to me success with many girls. But, it is a completely different situation here. Sex ratio is quite skewed in heaven. Blame the sex identification techniques of the corrupt doctors who do not seem to spare even the Gads.

                                       

Image: momorobo.com

You might ask why I would need all these.

C’mon. I am not asking you to give me money or build a fancy air-conditioned temple with swimming pools and all those luxuries. I am just asking you to update the way we look at least in photographs so that I would upload those narcissistic photos in my Facebook page.

Hoping for a crazy change,

Yours Gadly

Lord Krish

“Gad must be crazy.”

PS: This is just a piece of fiction. It is not meant to hurt theist’s feelings about the Gad(s), but FYI, I am an atheist.

               Life is colorful, so is our blood

I was born in a factory. They had filled me with blue blood and dressed me in a transparent plastic outfit. I was then given a plastic helmet which protects my intelligent head. So did my siblings - ten of them.

We were all happy together until one day; a boy separated me from my beloved ones. He removed my helmet and put down his thoughts using my intelligent head. My blood  drains out every time he does this.

“Dinner is ready”- a husky voice from downstairs.

At that moment I found myself amidst many other people like me in a small pipe. The first person whom I saw was Mr. Highlighter. He was a fat man with fluorescent yellow blood. He said he has been living there since many months and has seen many ’Use and throw Pen’ men pass away. He was very proud of himself as his head is used to highlight the important points in any document.

As I averted my glance from the bragging fatso I saw Ms. Pinpoint Red. She was a slim and sassy girl and had pink blood. I had not seen such a beauty ever. I was ogling at her to her discomfort. While I tried to take my eyes off her, I saw Mr. Reynolds Black, who is from Africa. There was Mr. Add Gel who knew German and had the German technology gel mechanism on the rear end of his body.

Then there was Mrs. Pencil, who was a very strong hearted woman. She had a graphite body. She always wore a wooden outfit with colorful stripes on it. She was married to Mr. Eraser who is from the West. He said that he always erases the mistakes of his mistress and expects perfection in every work. He also said that she always goes to a beauty parlor called ‘The Sharpener’. She comes back with a very sharp head and a beautiful smile on her newly carved face.

                                   

“Our life is colorful” exclaimed a few sketch pens. Apparently they were all similar in appearance but different in color. There was Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange and Red. They said, “We come in rainbow colors and we make lives interesting”.

 Suddenly I had a strange feeling in my body. Some of my blood had oozed out. Mr. Ink Pen said its cancer. I was startled then. I thought I would die. But Mr. Ink Pen took me to Dr. Ink Pot’s clinic. He was a fat man with lot of blood in his body. After examining my condition he told that it was just due to a mistake in my making and it could be cured by changing the tip. He then took out a tip from his collection. My tip was surgically removed and the new tip was implanted. Since then I am hale and healthy, happily helping the boy put all his thoughts on paper.
   Credits:Inspired by an article "UNPROTECTED"by Simon Rich,JULY 30, 2012 in The New Yorker.